I found this image on Pinterest and thought it fitting, I wish I had drawn it
Do you ever feel like you are just waiting for something? I sometimes get this feeling. Not really a premonition, but more like a feeling... of something. Maybe it's just a feeling of restlessness that floats down on you sometimes, for no reason. That feeling of wondering what is out there that perhaps you need to be checking out. Then you shrug your shoulders and say to yourself, "don't be restless, it's all going to be OK".
You find yourself in the marvelous position of being able to quit work and do what you want and then life gets in the way and you find yourself doing what someone else wants, or simply doing nothing at all. Maybe it is because you can't figure out what you want. Maybe a small part of your brain thinks that you don't really deserve to be able to do what you want. Time fails to give you the clarity that you thought it would and you wait...and watch.
Life gives you an abrupt change and you roll with it and then you are back on your own, able to do what you want. You do that for several years and then seemingly you have somewhat quenched the thirst that was rising up in you. You do that in many ways. Shopping, hobbies, traveling and various activities occupy your time. You find the bubble that held so many things has gradually gotten smaller and the friends and family that reside with you in this sphere have also dwindled to just a select few. You don't mind.
You don't yearn for more people in your life, companionship is not really a longing within you. You don't like drama that comes with so many relationships, sometimes even just with friendships, and you find it so much easier to cocoon yourself and wait...
You sit back and take it all in and wait and watch...