Thursday, December 15, 2016

This is something I needed to read...

I find myself needing to read something like this recently. More often than I'd like...


Click below where it says "it's an article..."

It's an article/blog post about needing to be right... by the gentleman pictured above.  Tim Marks. I have not done extensive research on him, but he appears to be a motivational speaker and author.

I hope this finds everyone well and safe and happy. I know that's a lot to wish for you, especially with the holiday season upon us. I really do wish the best for everyone and I sometimes get frustrated with all the negative reporting that is constantly in the media and the negativity that is social media.

I suppose the human species has always been negative and quick to find fault with others, but I swear I also think that some people simply get in such a habit of saying what they think, all the time and heaven forbid anyone disagrees.  I'm seeing a trend of people forcing their opinions on others. It is so easy. If, as in the past, we had to write a letter on paper and put it in an envelope and put postage on it, and go to the post office to post this mail, instead of just hitting send, perhaps such trends might diminish.

Ahhh, but back in the 21st century, I'm trying not to be like that. I don't need for others to know that I am right, or smart, or talented in order to feel good about myself. I do not base my self-worth on what others think or see. I know I am worthy and it doesn't matter if someone else knows that or not. I know it.

I will continue to strive to be a decent person. I will not insist on being right.  I will not wait until New Year's Day to start trying to achieve these daily goals. I will feel good about myself. For me.

Enjoy the rest of your hour, day, week, month or year. Life goes on and hopefully it will go smoothly for you and yours. If not, you can always blog about it...



Thursday, November 10, 2016

Time marches on...





Well, the election is over and it was one of those situations where I really wasn't happy with either party's nominees, but I voted and I voted my conscience.  Now I will wait and see what the next four years have in store for us, as a country.

I am stunned by the reactions of the supporters of the losing side. They have acted like idiots.  I think the difference is that when the Republicans didn't win either of the last two elections, the losing side couldn't protest or make their displeasure known for fear of being labeled racists because of Obama being mixed race. Sure some folks acted up, but not like this...

I do wonder if either Ben Carson or Allen West, both black politicians, had been the nominee and winner for the Republicans instead of Trump, would the losers have protested as violently? Would they have been labeled racists if they did.

I fear we will never know.

Happy November. Enjoy yourself. Get ready for winter. Carry on.

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Thank you, I'm fine...




I now this is a strange title, but I was just sitting around this morning contemplating life and I was thinking about what it means to need nothing.  Seriously, I have several friends that check in on me daily and I always answer, "thanks, I'm fine" when they ask if I need anything.

At this particular moment in time, I do need to put on a disguise and go to the store for toilet paper.

I'm being silly, that's my way of saying I don't have any make up on, but will probably go out anyway.  But getting back to the point, I suppose I can finally relate to why it was so difficult for my mother to tell us what she wanted for Christmas/Birthday.  She would say things like "I want you to clean up your rooms" or "I want all you kids to get along", something of that nature.  I think now I understand.

She had reached that point, where she knew that she didn't really need anything.  In her world, in her time, she had it all. She had what she needed.

You may say that it took me long enough, but at my current age, 63, I finally have to say I really don't need anything.  I have everything I need and I don't seem to want anything.  I have a nice home and nice things in my home.  If I want something I just buy it, I am very fortunate to be able to do this.

I can remember the days when this absolutely wasn't the case, those days when we had a "wish-list", when we really didn't have the extra money for things we wanted.  Don't get me wrong, I always love getting stuff.  I love art supplies, and jewelry and cosmetics and when someone gives me a gift card from Ulta or a certificate for a mani-pedi I always use them.  I just don't really need anything.

I open my closet and in the container where I keep my nail stuff, there may be fifty shades of polish. I always have clothes and shoes, I have the computers that I like and the pots and pans that I prefer.  I don't need anything. It's nice to know this. It's nice to see that the struggle is over. I appreciate it.

At some point in our lives, usually when we are older, the things we want aren't the things that money can buy. I want to be fifty pounds lighter or at least not feel like I'm carrying a weight on my shoulders when I go to get out of the recliner. I want to have the energy I did twenty years ago.  I want to feel like getting up and dancing for an hour without getting tired. Those are the things I kind of want.

I want people to commiserate with me instead of sharing their vast knowledge on how I can achieve my goals. There are thousands of YouTube videos and sites on the internet to show me how. For the most part, I know how to do these things, I just don't have the gumption to do them. Gumption, that's it, that's what I need, that's what I want...bring me some gumption.

I understand that my friends know that I'm not in need. It's not about that. So when they ask me what I want for Christmas or if I need anything from the store, I know that they care about me and want to be there for me and if a situation actually arises, I will tell them, that yes, you can get such and such for me. If it's late and I do need something from the store and I know that it's on your way, yes, you can swing by and bring it to me... I'll let you.  More times than not though, I'm going to answer "I'm fine, but thanks for asking".

Not much of a post for a Sunday morning, but it's what's on my mind. Now I'm off to go get some t.p.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

A Fall Cold

No, not a cold Fall, I've got a Fall cold.

This is about day nine of feeling yucky. It started out as achy muscles. So bothersome that I thought I may have "frozen shoulder" and went online and got some basic stretching exercises to do. They actually have helped and I'll probably continue to do them.

Well, the body aches and general blah feeling kept me in the recliner for several days, I even jokingly posted a picture of what my area looked like where I had been sitting. Halfheartedly thought about cold medicine and dissolved a generic "before the cold" tablet on my tongue.

Next came a scratchy throat which led me to the internet to do searches on strep throat vs sore throat from a cold.  I took OTC painkillers and drank lemon and honey tea and kept watching Netflix, still not feeling like getting up and doing anything. Thought I was "on the mend" as they say.

One evening, all of a sudden, I had a burst of the "I feel really goods" and knowing my body, I prepared for the worst of this cold. A calm before the storm scenario. Yep, sure enough, that night I started coughing and was up every hour to pee, get some water, eat some honey and try to sleep again.

Periodically during this episode of, whatever the hell it was, I was on social media chronicling my days. Actually I kind of enjoyed the comments of "get to the doctor" and "make a hot toddy" and I pretty much planned to stay on the couch and ride it out.

This takes us to the after effects of Cough Night. During this entire time, my friend, who is in from the West Coast has been stopping in for coffee most mornings. I get up and unlock the door, to make it known that it's ok to come in, no need to knock and go on about my morning routine.

Yesterday morning, something woke me from a sound sleep. I had heard him come in and realized, OMG, I left the door unlocked last night and that could have been anyone. I went to roll out of bed to tell him I would be out in a moment or two and I suddenly realized that I was so sore I could barely move.  I made my way out to the kitchen where he was trying to figure out my coffee pot and such. I still had on my pj's and my hair was like a witch and I knew when he looked at me that I looked just as bad as I felt.  I went and put some clothes on and ran a rake through my hair, and went back in to talk. We ran through everyone's usual "getting old sucks" conversation and after a short time, where he really tried to convince me to go to the doctor, he went on about his errands, promising to check in on me, which he and his daughter do anyway, us being friends and all.

I keep plenty of supplies on hand as a general rule and during this entire episode I have told them repeatedly that I didn't need anything, but I realized yesterday evening that I had to have some cough medicine. I was so sore that even slight coughing was making me miserable, not the cough, but the fact that my "core was sore".  I had tried to downplay it, even to myself, but I felt like I had fallen down a hill or been in a car wreck. I was that sore.

I put on sunglasses and a long sleeve, stretchy cover-up that disguises the fact that my untethered breasties are separately lolling happily on my overweight midriff bulge, barely hidden by what amounted to a pajama top, and I went to the CVS.  I got name-brand cough medicine and several other things that I needed and after finding out from the cashier that I was NOT the only one dealing with this bug, made my way home (it's about a mile each way, so no big deal). I slowly got out of the car, it actually was very difficult to push through the soreness, and got inside to take the first dose of 12 hour cough suppressant. Cheese and cracker, I was sore.

I really do have to admit that actual cough medicine is sooooo much better than spoonfuls of honey for a cough. I started to feel better immediately and I felt that I was finally on the road to recovery and was silly for not taking care of this cold earlier, but whatever, blah, blah, blah.

See that last sentence?  The one with the blah, blah, blah?  That is what this entire blog post is really about today.  I hate to take medicine and I never really explain why to folks.  Most everyone relies on meds and rightly so, I would have never been cured of my c-diff if not for the proper medications and I really understand that. Apparently, since I am so rarely sick, I don't realize it when I actually am and I don't see it when everyone else can see that I am.  I am so much smarter than everyone else, after all.

The blah, blah, blah portion of this blog is brought to you by Robitussin. I woke up this morning pi$$#d. I am NEVER in a bad mood. Even when I was PMSing back in the old days, I was never mad. Reflecting on my expansive emotional career, I may feel frustrated when people do things I simply can't relate to, or I might feel yucky when I was sick, or be distraught over a break up and experience sadness over the loss of a loved one. I have been known to be extremely stubborn when I don't want to do something. I feel real sympathy when someone else is going through something traumatic and sometimes I can almost feel the pain that people are feeling...but

I am almost never pissed. I don't get mad. I usually laughing agree with someone who is expressing how mad they are over something, or that they woke up on the wrong side of the bed and were not ready to deal with people, or that they told someone off, but I realized this morning that I almost, as I said, never feel this way myself.  And yet, I woke up this morning mad.  Not mad at anything or anyone. Just effing pissed. No reason at all. This is so weird for me and honestly I don't like it at all and it has to be a side effect of the Robitussin.

I have heard my mother say numerous times that one of the things that she loved about me was that I was the same every day. I think that this was surprising for her, as when all the other teens were moody, I was not. A bit boy crazy, to be sure, but seldom moody. I never appreciated it much back then, but I realize now that it was, and is, a good thing.  I'm not moody.

I've always disliked medicine, but I never really analyzed this dislike. Maybe subconsciously, I have known that it affects my moods, or perhaps I remember that my own dad drank codeine cough medicine for the buzz that it gave him. Most likely that is the reason, but I know that I'm still sore from coughing and in an attempt to shake off the rest of this fall cold, I am going to take take take my meds.  I won't be "trippin on tussin" like Kid Rock sang in Prodigal Son, but I'll probably still be pissed.

Obviously I'm feeling better or I wouldn't have been at the key board for an hour typing this.
Enjoy your day and don't be like me, if you feel bad, take some damn medicine.

Peace out.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

9-11

I'm sitting here on Sept. 11, 2016 thinking about many things. Thinking, of course, about the events that happened on that fateful day.

I am thinking of other things, too. Thinking of the personal changes that I want to make. I am still finding my way. I live by myself. I will always live by myself. I have to take care of myself.

I am in the process of cleaning. Cleaning my house getting ready for cooler weather. Cleaning out my electronic house too. Deleting old and unused social media accounts. Thinking about things.

Thinking about some of the things I thought I was doing right that maybe are not so right.  Nothing big, just some personal changes that I want to make.

All is good, I just want to continue to grow as a person. Sometimes the things you think are helping, are actually enabling, and no one wants to do that.

Sometimes you just have to step back and look at things objectively and it's time for me to do that and to be truthful with myself.  Time to realize that sometimes people are taken for granted and whether it's intentional or not, you have to decide if you want to let that continue.

Sometimes you have to look inward and decide what is right for you and if you find that something you are doing for others isn't right for you, you have to make a change.

I'm planning on being here for a few more years anyway and I want those years to be good for me, and if that means making some changes, so be it.

I don't have any pictures to post today. I'm just typing out some thoughts that are in my little head. Maybe it's time to stop putting the health, happiness and well-being of others above my own.

I am still finding my way.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

September Morn...

Well, it's the first of September and lots of things are new. One, for instance, is me typing a post on a new computer.  Yeah, my other computer finally needed to be replaced and I got a new one. Havent worked all the "new car bugs" out of it yet, but here I am.

I've been trying to get some organizing done and had to get some help with that and have made several trips with donated goods and such, but I think I'm comfortable with the amout of clutter I have in the house now.

I have been doing a lot of painting. My favorite paint is acrylic and I do my best work with it. I went on a photo jaunt, taking pictures for future paintings (and enjoyed a pretty day in the process).

At my age, 63, I still think I should be challenging myself by doing things that are different. Maybe I read too much on the internet about not keeping yourself boxed in, or getting outside your comfort zone.

Personally, I feel like I have made it through enough that I should be able to enjoy my comfort zone. I find that I sometimes do things others want me to do... when I really dont want to do them. I sometimes decide that I need to do things differently because other people do things differently.  It's like I dont feel worthy of my own comfort zone. Well, guess what...that is going to stop. I'd like to say it will stop immediately, but a life long habit is not that easy to break.  There is no reason to list the things that I'm going to change, but suffice it to say, I'm making changes.  For me.

As I mentioned earlier, I've been doing a lot of art recently. If you are my FB friend I'm sure you have seen them, but for my blogger buddies, I'll post them here.


This was an original, based on my love of the Blue Ridge Mountains and loving to see them every day when I go outside...

This one is hayrolls on the back of a flat bed truck. Reference photo was taken by me on the way home from California...

 Here we have a close up of a modern day windmill, once again based on my own photo traveling back home. I'd like to think it's an original take on something some think is not worthy of painting.


Speaking of original and modern...I painted this spacy painting last week, just playing around with circle templates and metallic paints.


I'm in an online art group and we're doing a challenge where we all paint our version of the same picture. Here is my entry. I wasn't happy with it so I made a few changes and called it finished.

One of the reasons I wasn't happy with it is that I used some texture gel, trying to step outside my little box a bit. Oh, it looks good and I'm quite happy with the end result...except, I now realize that I do not like texture, especially in a painting.  I could go on and on about this, but I choose not to. I simply do not like textures. I don't like frosted glass and I dont like fuzzy yarn and I don't like things that are bumpy or things with holes in them. Those kind of thing freak me the hell out. Sometimes things with holes in them make me want to throw up. Seriously. I know where this comes from and choose not to share it here, but it is a real thing.

All this being said, I knew when I watched a video of an artist finger painting (with vinyl gloves on) that I wouldn't like to do it, but I said to myself...don't be so silly, it looks like fun. try it.

Well, I did try it and I was so uncomfortable, that I know now, it's not just in my imagination, it's a real thing, I don't like to touch certain things and heavy body, buttery paints are right up there at the top of the list.  I love the impressionist style of painting, but never, ever again, will I do it without a brush, in oil paint, anyway. This sounds weird, but oil paint is so soft and doesn't dry quickly like acrylic paint does, that for some reason I feel like I'm going to drown when I use it. It's like I'm making myself step into quicksand. Or it's like someone is threatening to stuff a huge white marshmallow down my throat. I have painted with oils before, using the glaze method where you paint with a brush and use solvent to thin the paint to almost a liquid. No problem, I liked that just fine. There is just something about the puffiness of soft paint that chokes me. I know it's weird, but I was so tense and uncomfortable that I finally quit the painting and decided to just accept that I have this personality quirk, or whatever the hell it is. Painting is supposed to be fun, and I'll be damned if I'm going to make my own self uncomfortable. So there, now you know.

Anyway, this is where I stopped...


I know it needs more work, but I can't deal with it now. Maybe later when it has dried, I can go in and touch it up with acrylic paint that I'm more comfortable with. Seriously, have you ever heard of such a thing. I'm an odd freaking duck.

Oh, and by the way, I'm not looking for advice or seeking solutions to this anomaly, and frankly if you offer either, I'll harumph and walk away with my nose in the air.

So that's what's happening here on Planet Keene. I'm looking forward to fall and winter, and all that goes with it.

Remember to enjoy life and if you're happy in your comfort zone, screw anyone who insists you leave it.





Monday, July 25, 2016

another one of those days...

Did yuo ever have one of  those days where everything is going wrong? well, it's been one of those days for me. Somethings I have to deal with delicately and not sure how to.

In any event, I did some art this weekend...


I painted this little beach scene from a book that I have called "Paint Charming Seaside Scenes" by Jacqueline Penney...it's actually a pretty good book with step by step  directions for using acrylics.


This is the gray palette paper that I used to mix my colors on and for some reason I liked the splotches of color on the palette that I used in the painting and decided to embellish them with marker and came up with this...


As you can see it turned into a field of flowers on a grey background and I really like it. I wish that i could loosen up and do this kind of work intentionally.

Well, that's it for today... talk soon.