Wednesday, January 16, 2013

The urn...

I really hope that this doesn't upset any of my readers, but I just wanted to share this last experience.  Looking back on it now, I probably shouldn't have gone back to the funeral home by myself.  I have been waiting two weeks for them to call and tell me it was time to pick up the cremains.  I started getting a bit antsy because it is supposed to snow here tonight and I needed to know what was going on.

I was called last week to pick up the death certificates which I did.  It took fifteen to twenty minutes to find them, sign papers, make a copy of my driver license.  At no time did anyone even mention that Tim's urn was ready to be picked up.  So apparently, I could have picked him up the day after the service and didn't know it.

So after finding out that I could pick him up.  I just hopped in the car and drove myself.  Actually I was a bit peeved because no one had let me know, so once again I'm running on adrenaline.  After I got there and they felt awful about me not being called and really didn't know what to say.  I'm standing there gently crying. The gentleman brought him out in a nice little tote bag and I had to sign some more papers.  They offered to take the tote bag to the car for me, but I said no.  It never occurred to me that it would be heavy, I thought he was just being nice.

Well, I went out to the car, buckled the tote bag in the passenger seat and headed home.  I figured I should try to eat something so I cried at the drive through and when I stopped to get a newspaper and when I rearranged to shelf to put him on.

I cried while I ate and I'm crying as I type.  I am just so much sadder than I thought I would be.  My dear husband would have been devastated if he had been doing this.  I'm so glad he didn't have to experience these feelings.  I'm so blessed that it is he that is in heaven and feeling no pain or sorrow.  I would not want him to be sad and lonely.  He would be so sad here without me.  God knows what He's doing and makes no mistakes.

Anyway, if you are still wading through this tale of tears and mourning with me, know that I really will be fine.  I know that I will be.

Here is his final resting place...

I placed him on the shelf next to our picture and surrounded by the crazy, bad movies that he loved to collect.

RIP Sweet Timbo, rest in peace.


Peri said...

First off, it is just tacky of Oakey's North Chapel not to notify you properly. So I am mentioning the name because you are too nice to do so.
Second, bringing the urn home sets it in reality and prevents you from not thinking about it. Both good and sad.
Third, I love the positioning! Tim would find it most much better than burying it in the ground or sticking it in a mausoleum...bad movies and happy memories..perfect.
Four, don't know about the rest of the world but I am here leaking tears, but smiling along because I know Tim is where he would like to be and that you are right --he could not have handled you dying and leaving him alone.
Five, well done all the way around.

Tina said...

I just read this post to my husband and we are both tearing up. I just keep remembering you in my prayers daily. Hugs,T

vivian said...

oh susan.. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. I think we youve put Tims urn is perfect. At this point its all about you and what makes you feel better. I admire your strength. but I'm glad that you are crying.. you need to do that too.
big hugs to you my bloggy friend. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Varla Lee said...

Doesn´t matter where is the right place for have him near you... the most important is that he will be for ever in your heart.
Rest in God´s peace your dear husband.

kathyj333 said...

I'm still with you. And my offer still stands.

I remember how surprised I was at how heavy Al's urn was. I also remember how lonely it gets when the rest of the world keeps on turning. I felt like I was in one of those commercials where the person is just standing there and the rest of the world is rushing by.

Anyway, find some good support. We're here for you.

You remain in my prayers.

Countryfolk Keepsakes said...

Peachy, I know you'll be fine. But it's okay to cry. Laugh. Get angry and throw things. Smile. It's all part of grieving. You'll have good days and bad days. Just know we're all here for you. ♥

Ralph said...

Isnt it strange that I came across your blog today having just written in my own blog about the ashes of an old member of my congregation when I was a minister. Death is never an easy thing to get over, no matter what people tell you. But you seem to be doing all the correct things and although you will never forget there will come a time when the remembering will be easier. Thank you for sharing this blog. If it is ok with you I will follow along.

Sea Gypsy said...

I logged in on my computer for the first time this year on the 17th and came for my visit only to discover that that the love of your life was called home. My prayer is that the Lord will comfort you with His love. You are in my thoughts. Tim's resting place is perfect.

Ellie VanCaster said...

I love that you know it's okay to cry and grieve and laughter through the tears-you are certainly a strong woman. Will keep praying for your strength and don't let anyone tell you tears are not strength-they are the strongest part of your remembering your love with him.

Carol said...

Susan, My sincere condolence to you and your children. I saw your reply on my blog and had to come over and visit yours. I hope you're up to just a little smile, because this posting about his urn reminded me about the day my sister and I went to get my dad's urn. My sister had a small VW beetle and my father said he would never be able to ride in the back seat. It was the only place for us to put his urn. As we were driving him home, my sister and I started laughing hysterically about him finally having a ride in the back seat. We ended up taking his urn on the airplane and he was interned at Arlington National Cemetery. This was back in 1990. Time will help soften your sadness and now I can relive wonderful memories of him.

Elise@growcreative said...

Thank you for your sweet comments on my blog. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I can't imagine how it feels to lose a husband. I'll say a prayer for you.