As you know, I am a very lighthearted and happy person. There have been several really sad things happen in our region lately, the finding of Morgan Harrington and also finding little Aveion Lewis. These were two local missing persons cases, that have been on our news recently.
Both of these cases are now murder investigations and we are all saddened by the events. Last week I was going through some of my previous essays and I came across one that I want to post for you today. Approximately one year ago, two similar events happened that prompted me to write this, and it still holds true.
Sometimes when I stop and think about all the pain in this world, I wonder is it OK for me to be so happy? I know He wants His children to be happy, but is it fair for me to be happy when others have such grief in their lives?
Babies being killed by family members. Ridiculous. Families being torn apart by the sudden death of a loved one just doing his job, killed while at work, by someone doing something stupid. The people that caused these deaths? How can I feel for them? Is it Evilness? Madness? Spirits...from a glass vessel? What causes their pain, what causes people to change? From the decent souls that you thought they were, into instruments of pain? Instruments of death?
Can I live with myself for being happily married for over twenty years, with hopefully and prayerfully, many more years in the future? Can you be happy for me? Or do you hate me for my happiness?
How can I ease your pain, how can I not think of you, all of you? I am only one person, one silly little girl. Am I masking my empathy for you with my happiness? Do I bury myself in my own interests because your pain makes me physically ill? I have to stay healthy, so when it is my time to do my part, I will be able. Please don't hate me because I'm happy. Love me for it. It is a gift from God....this capability I have to always stay positive, to be able to remove myself from your pain. I have to, I know you don't want me to falter... I have to be here for you.
If I don't cry when I hear your grief, it's because I must not. I would cry all the time. I have to grab the bootstraps on my pink patent leathers and give them a tug. I am here to help you and I can't do it if I am in pain.
Don't hate me because you think I'm happy, or beautiful, or rich or blessed or fortunate. What you may think of me, what you may think I am, have you considered that you just might be wrong? I love you, I love you all...maybe too much.
Thank you for the music. Thank you for the art. Thank you for the healing. Thank you for being you.
It's ok to grieve, just don't give up. Grab the rope and hang on. It really will be ok. I know that in my heart.
Faith, Hope and Love...
So that's it for today. I'll be back soon with some art and something lighter and happier, I promise.