Monday, November 17, 2014

No harm in being down...

I've always heard that there is no harm in being down, the harm is in staying down.  I am just one of those people that needs to move forward.  I've moved forward after losing jobs, after breaking up with long time boyfriends, after a divorce, after having changes in my family, after any number of the usual life time events.  As some of you may remember, my husband died suddenly December 31, 2012.  Not quite two years yet.  I have dealt with his death and the changes that it brought in the ways that I thought were best for me.  Those of you, who have been married, know that no marriage is perfect.  No person is perfect.  Some people are far from perfect.  Who knows what causes this.  One of the ways I have dealt with the life style change that came immediately after realizing that my husband was dead...was to hone in on every negative thing that had happened between us in the few years up to his untimely death.  Sometimes I wish I didn't have to do this to get past certain things.  We had good times, to be sure, but often ours was a dysfunctional relationship where everything we did, just drove the other crazy.  BUT we were married for almost twenty-five years.  A commitment that I made and chose to honor.  That was my choice.  Sometimes my choices were not the best.  Shoot, sometimes they still aren't the best.

All of this said and done, I don't sit around and cry about what was, or what could have been, or what will be, for that matter.  Today though, as I'm watching old episodes of NCIS and relive the death of Director Vance's wife, coupled with the death of Ziva's father, ELI, it brought on a crying spell, that I can only assume that I needed.  I cry for my own reasons.  Private reasons, reasons that you will never know.

But, I shake myself off, throw cold water on my face and prepare to move forward, again.  Watching NCIS makes me think of "The Rules"... and a couple of my favorites are:

Rule 36: If you feel like you are being played, you probably are
Rule 11: When the job is done, walk away.

These are my favorites, even if I often want to ignore them...

There are others, of course, that if you read the link, you can relate to. 

My tears are dried.  I'm ready to propel myself forward again. 

All is well, until later.

1 comment:

Peri said...

Welcome to the real world where we all get down at times! All will work out! Love from CA.