Sunday, November 6, 2016

Thank you, I'm fine...

I now this is a strange title, but I was just sitting around this morning contemplating life and I was thinking about what it means to need nothing.  Seriously, I have several friends that check in on me daily and I always answer, "thanks, I'm fine" when they ask if I need anything.

At this particular moment in time, I do need to put on a disguise and go to the store for toilet paper.

I'm being silly, that's my way of saying I don't have any make up on, but will probably go out anyway.  But getting back to the point, I suppose I can finally relate to why it was so difficult for my mother to tell us what she wanted for Christmas/Birthday.  She would say things like "I want you to clean up your rooms" or "I want all you kids to get along", something of that nature.  I think now I understand.

She had reached that point, where she knew that she didn't really need anything.  In her world, in her time, she had it all. She had what she needed.

You may say that it took me long enough, but at my current age, 63, I finally have to say I really don't need anything.  I have everything I need and I don't seem to want anything.  I have a nice home and nice things in my home.  If I want something I just buy it, I am very fortunate to be able to do this.

I can remember the days when this absolutely wasn't the case, those days when we had a "wish-list", when we really didn't have the extra money for things we wanted.  Don't get me wrong, I always love getting stuff.  I love art supplies, and jewelry and cosmetics and when someone gives me a gift card from Ulta or a certificate for a mani-pedi I always use them.  I just don't really need anything.

I open my closet and in the container where I keep my nail stuff, there may be fifty shades of polish. I always have clothes and shoes, I have the computers that I like and the pots and pans that I prefer.  I don't need anything. It's nice to know this. It's nice to see that the struggle is over. I appreciate it.

At some point in our lives, usually when we are older, the things we want aren't the things that money can buy. I want to be fifty pounds lighter or at least not feel like I'm carrying a weight on my shoulders when I go to get out of the recliner. I want to have the energy I did twenty years ago.  I want to feel like getting up and dancing for an hour without getting tired. Those are the things I kind of want.

I want people to commiserate with me instead of sharing their vast knowledge on how I can achieve my goals. There are thousands of YouTube videos and sites on the internet to show me how. For the most part, I know how to do these things, I just don't have the gumption to do them. Gumption, that's it, that's what I need, that's what I want...bring me some gumption.

I understand that my friends know that I'm not in need. It's not about that. So when they ask me what I want for Christmas or if I need anything from the store, I know that they care about me and want to be there for me and if a situation actually arises, I will tell them, that yes, you can get such and such for me. If it's late and I do need something from the store and I know that it's on your way, yes, you can swing by and bring it to me... I'll let you.  More times than not though, I'm going to answer "I'm fine, but thanks for asking".

Not much of a post for a Sunday morning, but it's what's on my mind. Now I'm off to go get some t.p.

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